Introduction: This isn't a typical introduction
Missed connections : he quoted me to me
Single in the city : learning how to date
Signing on : you are a woman seeking man
The dates : two hundred dollars for dinner and a roadside flare of weed
Bad algorithms : online dating sites are broken
The list : must not like Cats!
The mirror of truth : l am not Cameron Diaz
Fuck you, impostors! : you are a man seeking woman
Gaming the system : in which I outsmarted the algorithms
You're a 5-Apatow, 5-Seinfeld : what the popular girls know
The super profile : fun, outgoing breasts!
Finding Bobo : my last first date
The train home : subtlety wasn't my strong suit
Epilogue: What happened next, and the other side of my story
Notes: Answers to everything you were wondering (and a diatribe on the musical genius of George Michael.)
